Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in sir_popo's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, August 8th, 2006
5:26 pm	life is going good So i went bowling with that girl a couple of days ago and now i can officially call this girl Amber. Well long story short we went bowling at first she was kicking my ass and then i had my triumpet come back and beat her. I had a totally amazing time with her, and what better to end the perfect date with the perfect kiss, long passionate you know the ones that just make you feel alive, i so got the butterflys in the stomach though, either way it's probably the best kiss I have ever had ever. No one else's kiss could ever compare..... and oh ya for all of you who were concerned I did not get a bowling ball dropped on my foot, although that would have been pretty fucking funny Current Mood: cheerful (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006
5:44 pm	Im so happy So soon i feel i may no longer be The Heartless Soldier. A couple of nites ago i met this amazing girl. She's so funny, and cute and romantic and beautiful, has awesome personality and just in general blows my mind. She honestly makes me feel im worth a damn. Were suppose to go bowling soon, which is a big step for me cuz im self consious, but for some strange reason she tells me nice things and makes me feel not so self consious.....she is super sweet Current Mood: anxious (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 3rd, 2006
11:02 pm	A problem So i have a problem and theres no easy way to say it, to anyone so i figured id write so everyone can see how fucked i really am. So im depressed obviously, and it sucks cause it makes my life a living hell, my best way to counter act it, drinking the one thing that has always made me feel better no matter what, and what does it cause me, more pain, more sadness more me being fucked up, im not an alcholoic im just fucked up and can find no better way to cure my self than the power of booze. I need to stop im just causing myself more pain than im worth Current Mood: sad (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 25th, 2006
1:57 am	fucking sweet So a couple days ago i was on a website with custom made X-Men action figures. So i was browsing around for a while and there were some shitty customs some fair customs and a couple unbeliviable customs. Anywho so i found a custom made marvel legends style age of apocalypse weapon x.... it was fucking amazing, its better than any figure i've seen out and it's like a million times better than the one i have. So i emailed the guy, and he was like ya its scuffed and kinda fucked up but i can make you one if you want, and of course i was all over that shit. So everything go finalized and i should have it within the next couple of weeks, and he plans on making more of the AOA series so im ultra excited, these custom figure are art to me, the best example is my girlfriend likes the art book i buy her, well these are art books to me, but an action figure Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 3rd, 2006
3:04 am	damn it I need to go to Cali for a week, get fuckin oblerterated one night with jon watching Wild Zero and other than that just have a vaction for once. And I can think of one person who id really like to take with me, but im not so sure they wanna go Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 14th, 2006
5:20 pm	piss off I think other people should stay out of peoples personal buisness, especailly relationships, there would be a lot less drama in the world this way Current Mood: FUCK YOU (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 13th, 2006
5:50 pm	I hate shitty people and i hate when shitty people do shitty things (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 10th, 2006
10:01 pm	tired Started work this week, 10 hour days, hard labor, sun burnt, achy muscles. All i wanna do is sit down relax, watch a movie cuddle and and have a beer, because after a hard days work a beer sounds so crisp, clean and refreshing. Current Mood: thirsty (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 4th, 2006
12:40 am	what the hell who is that person fuck this shit and leave me alone why is life so sad fuck that and fuck you wheres the fun when there is none to be found eat away at me kill me fuck why is there no fun and friends fuck this all i hate it all (Comment on this)
Monday, May 1st, 2006
12:50 am	Fuckity fuck fuckin fucker I have so much to say on my mind and no way or one to say it too. Current Mood: sleepy (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 29th, 2006
2:44 am	....................................................... So this day i decided i should stay up for 48-50 hours, just cause I'm bored. I also decided that I need to get the fuck outta here. I need to escape everything and go far far away, where you ask, well destination unknown. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 18th, 2006
2:56 am	Fun My girlfriend once told me i should have fun, well fun for me was drugs and alcohol and im well past that part of my life, fun to me is watching movies and collecting toys. The highlight of my day was going to Wal-Mart and finding a varient figure which is low number made and hard to find figure. Thats fun to me going and finding these impossiable to find figures that if you want them you have to pay top dollar, some i keep in the box and some i take out of the box due to the fact im still a kid at heart. The best feeling for me is finding one of these figures, it use to be getting high. Current Mood: accomplished (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
10:57 pm	fuck I'm sad and i dont know why, everything is going so good but im completly down and out. i hate my self right now.......... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 21st, 2005
2:10 am	Being 21 sux So most people during the 21st birthday are excited. Well its not, at least not for me. That part of my life is far behind me. Theres no fun in turning 21 when you don't drink. All it has done has legaly allowed me to sit at a bar and drink my problems away, well thats not me either, because drinking is a downer and I can only do uppers i.e. life, my girlfriend, a hard days work, movie night, cuddeeling, which by the way these are all fine with me I rather enjoy them to be honest. It's better than drinking, you have a clear head, your aware of your surroundigs and never have to worry about driving drunk. Somedays I wish i was normal, no pills, no therpy, no psychciatrist no fucking problems. Everyday is a goddamn struggle some days are easy some days you cry. I hate it, it's the one thing I hate the most about myself. I flaw in an otherwise perfect world. I learned very quickly that downers bring this side out of me quit well, yet I havn't done any downers. It's just the simple fact that I'm a fucked up individual with problems that I sometimes have no control over. At any givin second I can snap or become broken, with out hesitation. Life can be hard and it can be easy it's like a roller coaster a series of ups and downs, granted that I have more up than down movments, yet on the days it goes down it sucks, I havn't derailed yet, but I never know. The only thing that i regreat in life is my disorder. I know i have no control over when it strikes but I hate it to this very day. Sometimes I wonder how diffrent or better or worse my life would be without it, I will never know. Current Mood: worried (Comment on this)
Monday, December 19th, 2005
6:40 pm	drinks So my 21st birthday was fun, up until the point i had a drink. Unlike the normal human being a drink can send me to my dark place which just so happened today as a side effect from yesterday. Why can't I be normal and every little thing doesn't have a negitive effect on me. (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 18th, 2005
2:12 am	A long ways So today is my 21st birthday. In the past year I have made a huge change to myself. I've held a job for more than 3 months, started going to college, quit drugs and drinking, had a positive view on life, been completly content and happy with life, seen friends come and go, made something of myself, something postive to boot. For once in my entire life I'm actually doing very well and I am finally truly happy. I've had very little depressed/suicidal days, been able to cope with everyday stress so much better and feel loved, complete happy and not lost. Feel like I fit in and belong and have a place to call home. For once it acyually feels good to be alive, and let me tell you the beggning of my year sucked ass. Jon left I was with a horriable person I had no job and life sucked. But, a couple months later my life began to get so much better. Every day, every hour every moment was the best thing in my life. I can honestly say that between 20 and 21 was the proudest greatest and best time of my life. Current Mood: satisfied (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 3rd, 2005
1:13 am	Just thinking So I'm taking 12 credit hours at school, held a job for more than month, I've been at my current job for almost one year and in that time span have gotten to raises both which were in six months of being there and eventualy moved from dishes to doing pantry and dishes.And the sad part of it all, I still feel like I'm going nowhere in life. I've already done this impossiabe with the job and school and even managed to find the love of my life. I'm very happy right now don't get me wrong but I still feel I have no sense of direction or point to life. Current Mood: disappointed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, November 14th, 2005
12:45 am	Nov 20 6 days away So for those you of you who may or may not know Nov. 20th is a a very important big day for me. First off my best friend Jon will be back from Cali for four day of seeing me and experiancing Michigan's cold fucked up weather. But most importantly, although this is possiably embarssing for her, it's me and my girls ONE YEAR ANNERVERSERY!!!!! It's currently the longest and best realtionship I've ever had with anyone ever. The countdown has begun.... Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 3rd, 2005
11:58 pm	Don't get angry for no apparent reason, it causes drama and problems that you could never imagine. And once you've said something you can never take it back, you can only feel like a complete jackass/asshole and let me tell you thats the worst feeling to have. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005
5:26 pm	Life Life is a roller coaster you have your ups and downs. People come and go, feelings come and go. Happiness is temporary, sadness is forever. Every day is a struggle, not knowing what your going to wake up to or for. Not knowing what the day may bring. Never knowing how lucky or unfortante your day may become. At the end of day you have your options, sleep, die, or live for tommorow. Which the whole cycle will repeat itself. It's not fun to wake up and not know how happy or sad I will be, it's not fun to take the same pills everyone so that I can be stable through the day, even if nothing bad happens. The feelings of being alone are a scary thought, yet as I realized in my last hospitalization that the one person that can help you is you. Sure it's great to have people who care and help you out and comfort you yet in the end all you have is yourself, and your judgement to do what you think is best. Ultimatly the way I see you grow up alone till you hit a certain age and can date, as you get old your health deteriates and ultimate you or your spouse die alone. I have come to the conclusion that you need to take life one day at a time, live for the moment, the passion the thrills, but be safe. Always cherish what you have need or want because some day it can disappear. I have very few close friends, I have very few friends in general. I would just like to thank each and everyone of you for being there for me and doing all that you have done for me, especially you Stephanie. There are times I don't want to live, yet all of you are the first thing that comes to my mind in these dark times. Thank you Thank you Thank you all of you...... (1 Comment |Comment on this)